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Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Clearing My Mind


Clearing My Mind & Coming To A Realization 


The last few days, I've gotten some fresh air. I was cooped up inside all winter and was going a bit stir crazy. It was nice to finally get some sun absorbed into my skin. Getting away from technology for an hour or so does wonders. Just me and my power chair doing laps around the High-school across the street. 

Going full throttle, making tight turns, having one tire leave the ground, feeling the wind in my hair. Just a wonderful thing to experience after being inside so long. I try to think as little as possible, just want to shut everything out and drive my worries away. I have been feeling noticeably more happy...so it must be working! It's a bit cold today so, I don't know if i'll get out for a drive today. I will definitely try to get out for a little bit, may not be an hour but it'll be something. If it warms up, I for sure will go out! 


So yesterday, I was talking to a friend from Boston and I realized something that I never thought about. Well were talking about my writing and how she thinks, it takes incredible strength to write down how you feel. That lead us to talking about Taylor though...

It's all fine and dandy, so don't worry. I'm getting to the realization, just let me transition to that. So we came to a decision that it is in my best interest, to continue talking to Taylor. This is because not communicating with her is more painful than knowing she doesn't feel the same about me. When somebody can help you in  times of need, and be the best  friend they can be, you cherish those people and keep them around forever.

Then I said "I have a condition messing with me and girl bothers me" I'm going to clarify what I meant. What I meant by that was, My emotions become more invested in a girl than my disability. She then said "Do you think that's good? I feel like it is" We came to the conclusion that thinking about a girl I adore, gets my mind off the bad stuff in my life. It blew my mind that it took me almost 22 years to figure that out. So if you didn't quite get what my realization was, let me clear it up.

I fall in love easily because my subconscious, would rather have me invest my time thinking "I want to be with this girl forever" than thinking about how my disability is slowly killing me. Thank you, L! For helping me come to this realization! Anyway this is the end to another post! I'll be back tomorrow! Peace!




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