Might be something wrong

Okay first I'd like to say I'm happy, well I believe I'm happy. Is there really a difference though? Believing leads to it being a reality, so not a noticeable difference. The only difference I can think of is, being happy means it is more of a solid emotion, and believing it means it is more likely to change. That is what scares me. Next time I get in a depressive state, I really don't think i'll get out of it. I really can't sacrifice any more of my time being sad! If I get sick, I could easily die. I don't get sick often, but if I were to get the flu, well that could end me. I'm glad I have a great immune system, but it only takes one strong virus to compromise it. As my condition worsens, my immune system will become weaker.

The last time I got sick, I was admitted to the Hospital and stayed for a week. So next time, something tells me it'll be much worse. You know what? Yes, that could happen, but I'm not gonna let that worry me. With the little time I have left, I'm gonna stay as happy as I possibly can. I'd really like to take a long drive one day and see where I end up. Maybe I'll go westward or eastward or even go up North. It doesn't really matter where I'll end up, as long as friends will be there! All I know is, this is on my bucket list for sure!

I might write my bucket list in a post, on a later date. Maybe some of you, who read my blog could help me out, in completing said bucket list! I know my limits, so there won't be anything I can't accomplish. I really need an adventure to keep me in a good mood! I mean I've done a lot in the past six months, but all from my comfort zone. If you told me two years ago, I would have a novel in the works, 2 short stories done, 12 or 13 poems done, a blog, and would be starting a YouTube channel, I would laugh for hours on end! So yeah I have definitely expanded my psychological comfort zone, but not my physical comfort zone.

Well at least if my psychological comfort zone can expand, that means my physical comfort zone can too! I just hope i'm not too late! I also realized something earlier this week, I don't need a special girl in my life to be happy! Well if a girl does come along and takes a fancy to me, I'm not gonna turn her away. If a girl doesn't come along, well I'll be 100% okay with that! Okay maybe not 100%, but the next closest thing! I'm going to live my life the same way no matter what occurs! So that title might be quite misleading. I'm gonna explain why, I chose that as the title.

Yes, all the changes in the last 6 months have been good for me, but I still feel like I'm turning into a different person. It's not really a good thing to turn into someone that you no longer recognize. What if I wake up one day and everything I'am is no longer there? It would be much worse if I was turning into a horrid being. Still,  losing a majority of my identity is not what I want either way! It's a scary thought, to be honest!

Anyway I'll end this here. I'll be back tomorrow for some more! Peace! When in despair, eat a gummy bear!

Side Note: Don't be a Jack Ass!